REFLECTIONS: Sweet and Sour Memories of The Prasad Family of Bellbowrie.

REFLECTIONS: Sweet and Sour Memories of The Prasad Family of Bellbowrie. By Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad. 

(Part Two)

I need to continue with my sweeter part of the memories and forget about the religious aspect that does not do any anyone much good.

It was examination time at school and I had to study hard so I used to carry my notebooks with me when I was looking after and grazing my cattle in the field. I was so engrossed in my studies that I forgot to keep an eye on the animals, which wondered onto a nearby vegetable area and destroyed a lot of our seedlings and crops.

My father was furious to see the destruction of his flourishing crops and I remember getting the brunt of his full anger when he used his whip on me instead of the animals. I regretted this but never again did I falter in my farming duties and chores that were allocated to me. The paradox of this event is that many times you have to be cruel to be kind.

My father was a disciplinarian and always wanted his children to do the right thing and do well in every human and social activity. He loved his children very much and would do anything to keep them happy. He never spared the rod because he did not want us to be spoilt. He wanted me to be someone to be remembered and be a role model because I was his eldest son.

Life had a way of making its own scars, without too much conscious effort. The scars of physical beatings that I have on my body are reminders to me that I made a few unforgiveable mistakes that my father needed to correct and I have no regrets. Had my father not disciplined me at that time, I would have taken a different path altogether and ventured into many more errors.

His happiness was beyond his control when he learnt that I had passed all my examinations at my High School and I was going to be a teacher. He was overwhelmed to hear that news because that was his objective. It turned out that I was his only child out of the nine that had developed a profession. Later in life, he told me that he was very happy that I had achieved good results in life and met his expectations.

In those days as a reward for good work for the whole month, I was allowed to accompany some of my friends to Nadi town to see Hindi movies in the old wooden theatre of Harry Uraia. We used to travel by bus but later the open-air theatre came to our village and they used to screen the Hindi movies at the temple grounds and we used to enjoy the Saturday evening programs. It is through these participations that I developed my love for old movies and songs. If we had enjoyed a particular film the previous week, we used to re-enact it in the village grounds or school.

My father was one of the first persons in Sabeto to have a radio that needed a wet-celled battery to run and the battery needed to be regularly recharged at a charger that was located about five miles away from our house. In my enthusiasm to listen to the Hindi Radio programs I used to carry the heavy battery on my shoulder to have it recharged and then bring it back. In this process, the battery water and acid, on many occasions, spoilt my clothes but the enthusiasm and anticipation to listen to the one fifteen minute Hindi program on Tuesdays and an hour’s evening Hindi program on Saturdays kept me going to the charger and back.

This radio station was called ZJV and the announcer and presenter of programs was Chandrika Prasad Shriwastow who had a wonderful radio voice. The program was largely made up of news items but if time permitted, we were lucky to get a few old songs.

Later in my working life when the radio station was institutionalised to become Radio Fiji I used to present various weekly programs in English and Hindi. Many of my radio plays and short stories called the Geetoon Bhari Kahaniyaan were regularly used for the Hindi listeners who enjoyed them tremendously. Over the years radio programs became a source of misery for me. When songs were played I felt like I was part of the scene in it. Most old songs depicted a lot of negative feelings.

The ‘Education and Society’ program in English and the ‘Sikhcha and Samaaj’ episodes in Hindi became very popular for the listeners. I became a regular contributor for the notable women’s program when I produced a series of advice for parents. Mrs Vaishnoi, the famous Bahenji of Radio Fiji kept using my snippets for a long time. These snippets were later developed into a Handbook for Parents with the help of my wife Saroj.

The same Chandrika Prasad Shriwastow later became the General Manager of FBC and he offered me a lucrative job with Radio Fiji but I had to decline his offer because I was promoted as a Senior Education Officer in the Ministry of Education in Fiji.

During the period of my adolescent development, I was working very hard with my father on the farms to learn all the necessary tricks and traits of planting rice, vegetable and rearing goats, and other animals. A lot of my religious learning was in the company of my grandfather Sarju Mahajan who sang bhajans and kirtan and recited words from the scriptures.

Since my mind, body and soul were all busy concentrating either on the farm or on schoolwork I had very little time to develop any serious hobbies of my own but I did manage to go swimming in the Sabeto River and learn some wrestling skills from my father who was a wrestling coach to various youths of the village.

I never missed an opportunity to go to any social or religious gathering in the community with my grandfather and my father. Most of the time they were asked to speak at such meetings because of the respect the community held for them. One evening when my father was asked to speak at a religious function, he put me to test by telling the people that instead of him his eldest son was going to say a few words that night. I could not disappoint my father so I stood up and recited all the things that my grandfather had taught me.

After I finished speaking I was amazed by the applause I received from the audience and the palm of blessings was placed on my head by my father who on our return trip home said three very important things about public speaking that I always kept in my mind as my powerful rules and styles of effective communication.

Firstly, he said stand up tall when you are asked to speak in front of an audience. Secondly, he mentioned that you must speak up clearly and loud enough so that everyone can hear you. Thirdly, he told me to sit down and stop speaking if you have nothing more useful to say.

Ever since then, whenever I have spoken in any public or private gatherings or meetings I have always kept these appropriate lessons of effective communication at the back of my mind and have never failed in any public speaking duties. Of course, I have added my own ideas to public speaking to my father’s teachings.

After a few years, pineapple farms flourished as did the sugarcane farms and I was very interested in harvesting pineapples and sugarcane for delivery to the Colonial Sugar Refinery in Lautoka on the family truck.

Coincidentally the registration number of our truck was the same as my Teachers’ Personal File number (TPF3408), which was allocated to me when I graduated as a teacher.  I began driving the family Ferguson Tractor and the Ford 6 truck from the age of twelve when I was in Class 8. It never occurred to anyone that these were dangerous and unlawful activities.

By 1952, my parents were well-established farmers and began to pay more attention to my education and my academic progress and prosperity improved considerably. My other brother and sisters were at school as well but I was the centre of attraction all because I was the eldest and I used to bring good school reports home from a very reputable high school. This put me in a hyperactive drive to accelerate my efforts at school.

My other siblings were given the same opportunity but because of various reasons were not able to follow the same path. My sister Vidya had an accident and had to leave school after completing her primary school education. She was married away to a village farmer and has led a reasonable family life.

My brother Vijendra did not want to proceed any further after completing his junior high school because he secured a good job in the technological and airline industries. My relationship with him is very vivid and worthy of mention. We were born six years apart but that made me love and protect my little brother a lot more during our living in the village setup. He in turn was my greatest little helper.

                            

My only brother Vijendra has been a great support for me throughout my life and he still is in constant touch to ensure that I lead a healthy life. Our growing up together was very meaningful and we developed an excellent rapport within the family.

My second sister Shiumati failed to complete her primary education because she had to care for our mother who had taken very ill after a few pregnancies that went wrong. She too was married to a farmer in Sigatoka and has lived a good life.

However, my other sisters Kushma, Kusum, Upma and Sarla all completed junior high school education and were gradually all married to lead a happy family life as well. They all keep me informed of their progress and I continuously visit them to bless their respective families. I sincerely honour their respect for me and try my best to ensure that they lead a comfortable life of their own. They are rich in family and cultural matters. Like me, they too are great believers in the power of prayers.

Although we left Fiji with good memories of everything, we were left with a bitter taste in our thoughts forever. I can speak very highly of my own siblings but one bad egg gave me a different feeling altogether. I usually forgive people for their trespasses and forget the wrong that they have done to me but these incidents and episodes are unforgiveable and thus cannot be forgotten that easily.

                              

My personal relationship with my only brother Vijendra has always been very cordial and serene. We grew up together in Sabeto and have very fond memories of our interactions that we always share when we meet every now and then. He is a very successful businessperson living a happy family life with his wife Nirmala and the families of his two sons, Manish and Sanjay in Los Angeles in the United States of America. He is very thoughtful and shows extra care for our health and wellbeing.

We are proud of the fact that we have always conducted ourselves in the community as the legendary characters of Balmiki, Ram and Lakhsman of the holy book Ramayan. The love, respect and the mutual feelings that we have displayed for each other have been exemplary and very commendable.

Many people in the village and the family members had great appreciation for our brotherly conducts. We were true role models for other children of the village then and are still keeping those essential elements of brotherhood and goodwill flourishing. We are thankful to our grandparents and parents for inculcating these cultural and social values in us.

I was the first child from the village to pass the then challenging Primary School Leaving Certificate and be selected to attend the prestigious secondary school called Natabua High School. The joy that this sweet success gave me was very odd because I was happy on the one hand and uncertain of my future on the other. However, my parents and the rest of the family were very enthusiastic and provided an affirmation to my commitment so I had no choice but to go ahead with added vigour. From 1954 to 1957, I studied at this school and did reasonably well to keep my parents and the family members happy.

I travelled to Natabua by bus every morning and returned by bus after school around five. These travelling experiences gave me many advantages. While sitting in the bus for about an hour I remember revising some of my schoolwork and catching up with my required as well as other readings. I read many classical readers written by Charles Dickens, RL Stevenson, Jane Austin, James Joyce, Walter Scott, George Orwell, Rudyard Kipling, D H Lawrence, Lord Byron and the Bronte Sisters.

Later in life, my best-loved books came from GB Shaw, V S Naipaul and Lewis Carroll. These literary interests provided me with many opportunities to search for new directions and pathways. Paradoxically this anguish was quite exhilarating because I was constantly seeking and gathering many worthy symbols, ideas, omens, themes and guidance from my literary pursuits.

I read the books and was always interested in the various ideas, imagery and plots contained in them. I never failed to compare my own situations and circumstances after reading the novels. Therefore, the learning from my reading was not only enriching my vocabulary but also the style and structure of language. The varied backgrounds and settings in each novel gave me a lot of insight into different situations and circumstances that human beings interacted with in different and difficult situations. My extensive reading habit made me a better student and an improved human being.

Studying the works of Shakespeare and the early poets was my deeper interest. My collection of Shakespearean plays started from Julius Caesar, The Merchant of Venice, Macbeth, King Lear and Hamlet. However, I was introduced to other Shakespearean plays as well later in life. Shakespeare enabled me to look at the larger picture of conflict, love and politics.

I never got enough of Shakespeare and the more I read the plays the better my understanding became. Love of style and vocabulary made me act in the plays at school. Fictions, non-fictions, myths and legends gave me a lot of knowledge, imagination and interest.

My poetry studies included Tennyson, Elliot, Blake, Wordsworth, Browning, Hopkins and WB Yeats. I searched for ideas; rhymes and rhythms that made me love the words and structures used in them. I liked reciting important and valuable stanzas from selected poems. I loved to visualize the settings in all the poems and to see the meaning and manner of presentation in all of them.

Whilst at school I studied subjects such as English, English Literature, History, Geography, Commercial Studies, General Science, Mathematics and Book Keeping. I did not have any favourite subjects but excelled in all of them. At school, I participated in drama activities, Hockey and Soccer and kept my academic position in the first three boys in my class. There were no girls in our class initially but later we had the opportunity of interacting with at least three of them in the whole school.

While at the school, I had the proud privilege of being educated by such prominent teachers as Rohan Prasad, Parshu Ram, John Ram Sharan, CP Balakrishanan, CM Dass, Sursenap Ram Sharma, Govind Sami Naidu, Khalil Mohammed and F E Joyce. The school provided us an all round balanced and quality education with equal emphasis on drama, art and sports.

These were great educators ready to impart the best knowledge to their students. They were wonderful guides, excellent friends and very effective personal trainers. I owe a lot to the super gurus who developed a love of learning and knowledge into me.

I acted on stage in two Shakespearean plays Julius Caesar (Cassius) and The Merchant of Venice (Basanio). Our school drama club had presented these on stage at the school hall and in a few theatres in Lautoka and Nadi. Acting in these plays built my confidence and self-esteem and I became a better public speaker.

I was a Non Commanding Officer (NCO) in the Natabua Cadet Squadron. This was part of the total education at Natabua. Our commanding Officers were our teachers who taught us the discipline required in the army. Our field exercises included jungle training and platoon marching exercises with our rifles that had their firing pins removed and the bullets in the magazines were blanks.

One afternoon I was disciplined for poor performance when I giggled at the way the Commander gave us the command and his large belly shook heavily. I was given the task to march from the school ground to the Natabua Junction with the rifle hanging across the shoulder. This took me about an hour to complete and I was very exhausted at the end of it. I had to be taken to the sickbay for treatment because I had dehydrated badly. 

I represented the school four times in Oratory contests in Lautoka’s Globe Theatre and came back with a Shield once and a Trophy twice. We also took part in various debating competitions at times. Presentations of speeches and debates were of very high quality and we always had a full house in the halls. My topics for the oratory even then used to deal with rural versus urban life, war and peace and the need for happy family life.

Life at this prestigious High School was full of fun and we had fantastic opportunity to develop various important skills and talents. I was intrigued by the display of honesty and integrity by one of my favourite teachers at school. His name was Rohan Prasad, a Science and Maths graduate from Auckland University. His teaching style was unique because he practiced discovery method and believed in discipline and democracy in the classroom.

He was greatly instrumental in motivating me to become a teacher myself. His love of Hindi Language was great and I am thankful to him for encouraging me to keep up to date with my Hindi Language studies. Literary works of Prem Chand, Kabir, Rahim, Tulsidas and Soordas made us appreciate the various aspects of total human living. We enjoyed the dohas from the olden and golden books.

Kabir’s couplets had a very powerful influence on my personal development:

Aisee Vani Boliye, Mun Ka Aapa Khoye
Apna Tan   Sheetal Kare,   Auran Ko Sukh   Hoye

Literally translated it goes like this:

Speak such words, that ego's ploy
Body remains composed, giving the listener joy

This Doha is a gem. It deals with human psychology, metaphysics and a basic tenet of the Indian philosophy. The ancient poets of the Vedic literature have laid tremendous emphasis on speech. They have mentioned in innumerable shlokas that our speech has a direct connection with our actions. They proclaimed that sound and sight are the underlying source of all vibrations. This has been scientifically proven repeatedly.

We know that all sounds create vibrations and these vibrations affect both the speaker and the listener. Soothing, compassionate and loving words breed togetherness, while harsh speech breeds hatred. We also know that human speech is one of the main ingredients that differentiate humankind from the rest of the animal kingdom. Very early in my student days I learnt that the word listen can be altered into silent without adding or subtracting any letter so in order to listen well one must be silent.

Thus, Kabir, in this Doha crystallizes the power of the spoken word. He teaches us to speak in such a manner that keeps us harmonious and composed thereby making the listener feel a sense of joy in the communication.

We were asked by our teachers to experiment ourselves and rediscover the power of the spoken word. We have been trying our best to do this. In this process, we have enriched our life with not only Kabir but also Rahim. These activities made me come alive with new ideas like these:

Dheere Dheere Re Mana, Dheere Sub Kutch-hoye
Mali Seenche So Ghadha, Ritu Aaye Phal Hoye

Of course, Dohas of Tulsidas and Soordas have always intrigued me. All the love for such ingrained interest is rightfully dedicated to my favourite teacher Rohan Prasad.

At the end of my four fruitful years at Natabua, I became a well-developed student with excellent records in Literature, Mathematics, Social Sciences and Accounting. I passed my Fiji Junior Certificate and Overseas Cambridge School Certificates in the B Division and was advised to take teaching as a career by my careers’ teachers. I just followed their advice.

At Natabua, I cannot forget the healthy contributions of my friends such as Reginald Vinod Nand, Uttam Chandra, Ameer Khan, Moti Chandra, Kantilal, Asmatullah Khan, Sadik Koya, Shiu Charan, Purushottam Reddy, Shikandar Khan, Parmanand and Babu Bhai just to mention a few that we managed to keep in touch with after leaving school. They all turned out to be great scholars and leaders in their respective communities.

It was at this High School where I understood that a best friend was hard to find and lucky to have and no person would be useless as long he had a few faithful and honest friends.

It has been this bond of friendship that has allowed us to explore our depths with non-judgmental feedback and supportiveness over the years.  I was often told and believed that good friends are like stars. You do not always see them, but you know they are always there.

All my friends were great and we still honour each other’s words, thoughts and deeds. A lot of my personal development is a credit to my friends and colleagues.

I loved Khalil Gibran’s words on this issue, “For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. In addition, in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

My teachers contributed a lot through their motivational pursuits and excellent guidance and I owe them a lot for all these developments. What I am today is the direct result of good family life education, excellent primary education at Sabeto Indian School and a balanced educational development at Natabua High School.

My initial professional preparation at Nasinu Teachers’ College was very good foundation to proceed in the pursuit of excellence in educational field. One of my mentors of the training days was a person called John L Stevens, who in many respects guided me and provided me with excellent opportunities to further my teaching career.

In 1958, I went to Nasinu Teachers’ College to be trained as a teacher. I stayed there for two years and graduated to teach as a primary school teacher. I was posted to teach in Vanualevu, Labasa in 1960. I was put on an annual salary of 240 pounds, which was high up in the ladder of salary scale for civil servants.

Life at Nasinu Teachers’ College was very difficult for the first year because I was a rural youth and in the beginning, I was not able to freely and confidently socialise with the other urban-based students. However, when I gradually learnt to assimilate and meet the challenges facing me I began to mix well with everyone. Two years moved very fast and I made many friends whilst there.

It was at this institution that I began to behave like an adult because my colleagues were all very responsible and mature individuals. My close friends such as Keshwa, Hari, Prushottan, Shiu and Chandraiya were in my team of socialisation. It was here that I had made some very good friends from the Fijian community and started appreciating their culture and customs a lot more sensibly. Netani Rika, Ilaitia Damu, Mereoni Samusamuvodre and Susana Sotutu were my favourite from whom I learnt the Fijian language and culture to get by in the community.

My first year was spent in serious studies and getting to know the environment and the colleagues. Whilst at Nasinu Teachers’ College, I continued my studies from London School of Accountancy as an external student with the help of the Vice Principal John L Stevens. He was instrumental in guiding me to complete my Diploma in Accountancy in November 1958. This boosted my ego and my status at the College so much so much that I was elected as the Treasurer of the Students’ Council in 1959. This was a very responsible leadership position and I managed to perform the tasks and resonsibilities with dignity and dexterity.

While the lecturers at the college prepared us fully by giving us the skills of teaching, they also provided many opportunities for us to participate in sporting activities, hobbies and fine arts. I played soccer and hockey for the College B Teams that met every Saturday at the Albert Park Grounds. The rationale behind all these activities was that we needed to be trained in body, mind and character in order to ably fit into the society that we were posted to as qualified teachers after our professional preparation.

After introducing us to the initial theoretical teaching skills, we were sent to do our teaching practice for six weeks twice a year at selected nearby schools where experienced teachers became our mentors and we learnt to put the theory into practice with their professional guidance.

During the first year, I did my practical teaching very successfully at the St Columbus Primary and Samabula Government Primary Schools in Suva. In the second year, I taught at Naitasiri Baharatiya School in Nausori and at Deenbandhu Primary School in Suva. The associate teachers as well as the Head Teachers of these schools provided many valuable professional and technical tips to teach effectively and efficiently.

During the second year at College, I met my dream girl, the person of my life and fell in love at first sight. She became the reason for my existence and I used to find excuses to keep her in sight at all times. While supervising the duties of students as a Member of the Students Council I made frequent trips to the college library every morning just to get a glimpse of her and exchange a few words. As a religious fundamentalist then, I had faith in my new relationship and it was this faith that gave me a priest-like integrity to keep moving with determination towards that lovely destination.

She came to me as a divine gift like a fresh pink lotus and a pure gift of love and I accepted her as my saviour, my guide and my everything. She opened my eyes to the new world of love, beauty and wisdom. Definitely, this was for a reason and that was that we were made for each other. We were the soul mates and cared a lot for the happiness and peace of each other.

These interactions and exchanges kept increasing and we were fortunate to share the same table in the dining hall for a year. Our conversations and chats were professional and we kept developing our affection for each other because a lot of our likes and dislikes seemed congruent and matching. I developed a liking for a Hindi song all because of her. This explains my true feeling for her.

-        Rahoon kaise main tum ko nihare bina re mora mun hi na mane tumhare bina.

 ‘rhU\ ¿Es]e m]E\ t]um] ¿o in]h]re ib]n]] re m]er] m]n] hI n]] m]]n]e t]umh]re ib]n]]

j]][U\ ¿hI\ B]I t]o m]n] y]hI\ CUq j]]y]e a\iK]y]o\ s]e a\iK]y]o\ ¿] t]]r qUq j]]y]e

m]E\ t]o b]n]] p]p]Ih] t]ere py]]r m]e\ , j]I[U\ ¿Es]e m]E\ t]um] ¿o in]h]re ib]n]]

a]¿e b]s]\t] n]W ¿il]y]o\ s]e K]el]e, c]nd] ¿e G]r m]e\ l]]g]e is]t]]ro\ ¿e m]el]e

¿Es]e deK]e\g]e n]y]n]] n]W c]>]dn]I, n]W c]un]rI m]e\ t]um] ¿o is]\g]]re ib]n]]

rhU\ ¿Es]e m]E\ t]um] ¿o in]h]re ib]n]] re m]er] m]n] hI n]] m]]n]e t]umh]re ib]n]] ] ’

In return, she gave me her favourite couplet that has a lot of meaning in our life.

-        Jeewan ke safar me rahee milten hain bichad jaane ko

Aur de jaaten hain yaaden humko tadpaaneko

Very few of our friends and colleagues knew that we were developing our romance to lead us to the ultimate ending of making a family life together. When the year ended, I graduated and she was left to complete another year at the College. I was sent out on my teaching assignment to Labasa the main town on the island of Vanualevu but regular telephone calls and letters kept our love lamp alive and active. In those days, two of my friends who were working for the telephone company helped me get free telephone calls once a month.

I was no actor or artist as such but I kept my dramatic skills alive at Nasinu by acting on stage as the lead role in the epic play Chandragupta and toured to perform at all centres of Fiji during the school holidays. I also acted in short plays at the Lilac Theatre. Andrew Gaya Prasad and Ram Harakh directed our stage shows and radio plays and provided us with many dramatic and acting skills, which further improved our role and image as teachers. The continued participation in these dramatic areas developed our communication skills, our confidence and improved our social living skills generally.

I did multiple radio plays, presented many short stories known as Geeton Bhari Kahania for Radio Fiji, and wrote other short stories and poems in various Hindi newspapers like Jagriti, Shanti Dut and Fiji Samachar. It is not my natural inclination to bend the truth but I did this under the pseudonym of Ghayal and made many real stories look like fiction. Truth bending was something I had to do as an outlet to my emotions.

After spending two long years at the College, I graduated as a primary school teacher in December 1959 and when I reached home my parents, who had organised a big party for me, welcomed me. My father was very happy to see me as a teacher because this was his dream. His happiness at this party was unmeasurable when he kept telling the family members and friends about the great work I had done to fulfil his dream and ambition. His joy turned into sadness when I told him that I had to go to Vanua Levu and teach in Labasa but he accepted it as my duty to serve the community.

I began teaching at Vuo Bharaiya School in Vunika in Labasa in 1960. I developed a very intimate relationship with the community and whilst I lived in the public quarter in the school compound I spent most of my after school hours at the homes of mature people like Shiu Narayan, Shareef, Santram, Krishna, Shree the taxi driver and many others. They were all mature adults with strong family ties and were my regular partners during fishing trips, picnics and all other outdoor and religious village activities.

An old man Nagu was my immediate neighbour, who visited me regularly in the evenings with the pretext of lighting my Tilley lamp to give light in my dark home. This kerosene lamp needed methylated spirit to heat it before it could be lit. Nagu used to light the lamp and then drink the left over spirit but I caught him red-handed one day and showed him the warning on the bottle that read: is ko pine wala andha ho sakta hai. He immediately replied that ho sakta hai lekin hoga nahi.

I met this old man after eight years in Vunika and he was as strong and bright as he was when I saw him using methylated spirit as his fuel. His son Subramani became a good friend of mine who accompanied me on my shooting, hunting and fishing trips.

As a young man, I played soccer for the Wanderers Team and enjoyed hockey for the Teachers’ Team. Later I organised an association of young people to play soccer and other sports at the school grounds. These events became a good source of get together for the young people and a revenue earner for the school committee.

As I lived in a public quarter (house) on the school compound, I had to do my own cooking and looked after my housework. I smoked very heavily and got into a company of people who were very heavy drinkers of all sorts of alcohol. In 1962, my salary was revised to three hundred and eighty pounds annually but in those days, this was not enough to live as lavishly as I was living. Therefore, in four years when I completed my country service in LA and returned home to Sabeto I had a debt of over 1000 Pounds in Labasa. This was paid later when I got married.

My teaching service in Vanualevu was very interesting because I loved the community and served them well and in return, they gave me good respect and treatment. I used to visit friends in various areas to go for pigeon shooting, pig hunting and fishing trips to the ocean. There never was a dull moment and everyone in Vanualevu was so kind and considerate to me. Some of my weekends were spent in driving taxis for friends and I loved this part time job.

During these school holidays, I used to go home to Sabeto and it was here that my father taught me many additional skills of farming. These very interesting and adventurous activities gave me a lot of confidence and self-esteem. Of course, it also provided special bonding with my father who began treating me like his friend and shared many ideas about family life. I would have been a lot poorer without these social interactions.

While serving in Vanualevu I began studying for my degree from Massey University of NZ through correspondence and completed History I and Education I despite so many difficulties of delayed posts and scarcity of textbooks. This was difficult but very encouraging step for me when one of my teacher friends Deo Narayan a graduate of Auckland University acted as my tutor.

One of the advantages of studying history was in the models of action that great men had taken through the centuries. The actions of great people made us realize the importance of peace, war and conflict. As a history student, I learnt to be more pragmatic, cold eyed and calculating and these traits helped me to cull out my future even better.

After serving Vuo for three years, I was transferred to Tabia Sanatan School and developed an excellent relationship with the community there as well. Like the Vunika community, the Tabia people were very helpful to me as well. My relationship with them was very family-like.  I bonded well with Udho and Madhai families and the Jwala Prasad family treated me as their additonal relative. It was here that Kamla Prasad became my adopted brother and later I arranged his marriage from our home in Sabeto to Maya, daughter of a Lautoka businessman.

My service in Tabia taught me to be more confident, trusting and independent all because I had wonderful motley of people around me after school. The people were kind, faithful and very helpful to me. They were always prepared to take me into their family and give me all the respect. One of my village friends Hari Prasad was my great pig and pigeon-hunting companion during the weekends.

It was with him that I found out how to brew your own liquor. He had an outlet up in the hills in the forest near a running stream. His container of fermented mixture with fruits and other ingredients was placed on one side of the stream. The thin bamboo sticks with punctured knots were fixed to the spout of that container and pasted with clay so that they transferred the steam from the kettle through the stream to condense into drops of alcohol in a container.

The container was heated to let the steam evaporate and pass through it. These connected bamboo sticks were made to pass through the cold running water of the stream. On the other side of the stream was a large plastic container where the steam condensed and turned into liquid that was our homebrewed alcohol that we enjoyed after the hunting spree that gave us good roasted pork and chargrilled pigeons.

Time was still flying while I was having fun with friends in Vanualevu. My future was calling me to stand up and be counted. We all have some dark sides in our life and it is human instinct to detect our weaknesses at the right time and quickly find that important button which opens the door to our brighter side. I was a bachelor  for four years in Labasa but because of the company I kept and the communal activities I did, I never faced any social or communal problems.

By now, people began to call me RL and I served the Education Workers Society as their secretary and then Executive member of the Fiji Teachers’ Union Labasa Branch until my transfer to Nadi's Sabeto Muslim School in 1964. The communal and social interactions enabled me to spill out what was in my heart. In fact that was the best thing I could do. I was in love and I needed to settle down. There was no such thing as success unless a man was also ‘settled’.

God is never cruel and there is always a reason for all things. Love is or it is not. I knew this because for me love was flourishing. I began to see a different man in me. A person who was ready and prepared to enter a very vital phase of living. Since I had been raised to believe I began to see things clearly for my new life. There was a lot to do, think, ponder, cogitate, reflect and wonder.

It was at this time that I began to feel that if there was God then he would not tolerate such atrocities that were happening in the world. I wanted to rebuke him and question his existence for not being able to provide peace, prosperity and progress for the people. Then I was terrified as well at the thought that I might be cursed as a punishment for my disobedience and disloyalty. So I joined in harder prayers to say that I took back what I thought and said about God.

I was 24 years old and had never questioned the inevitability of marriage. Of course, it was the duty of my father to find me a wife. Sometime back, he had asked me to settle down and I had confessed to him that I had found a girl that I would get married when everything turned out good. He left the matter of marriage to me. Life is too short to live without our own desires, let alone the desires of another.

This is where my married life began with my wife Saroj. Our marriage date was auspicious because everything was done by the religious books but my family did not follow traditions blindly. We got married a day after my 24^th birthday on 19^th January 1964. After our marriage, we lived at the family home and started teaching at Sabeto Muslim School. This life was vivid, strange, and at times tumultuous but I began to see beauty in it. The beauty that had more faces than beaches have grains of sand. There was no return from this aspiration and bliss.

Actual preparations for my wedding ceremony started early in January when my parents began conducting various cultural activities for this important event of my life.  Since their eldest son was getting married, they had invited all the family members and the entire village rallied behind the family to see that everything was conducted well. It all started with the Tilak ceremony when my father in law, Chandar Pal Sharma came with some of his male family members to confirm the marriage.

Among the Hindus, this Tilak ceremony holds an important position when the selected male family members from the bride’s side visit the groom’s residence and perform the cultural rituals. After all the rituals, the bride’s father offers gifts to the groom and his family members.

The bride’s brother marking formal engagement places a ceremonial tika on the forehead of the groom. This was done for me in 1964 on 11^th January in the evening when the Sharma Family members Pt.CPSharma, Pt. KPSharma, JPSharma and Vinod Sharma came to our residence to conduct the ceremony.

These were the first twenty-four fruitful years of my life and I dedicate these good years to the healthy interaction with my grandparents, my parents, my family members and friends. I was betrothed and ready to lead a family life of my own with my soul mate Saroj.

I was a role model for many young people in the village and to my only brother Vijendra and my six sisters Vidya, Shiumati, Kushma, Upma, Suman, and Sarla. They too in turn enriched my life through their healthy interactions and contributions. Figuratively speaking my seventh sister stabbed us in the back and this is the reason I am not counting her among my siblings.

Life after marriage in Sabeto was very interesting but difficult. Our marriage ceremony was done very well with equal enthusiasm from both sides of the families. We went through all the reasonable and sensible steps of Hindu marriage and felt extremely at home performing all the duties that the enlightened priests and our parents asked us to do.

My brother-in-law Lal Chand made me dress like a king. I had a special headgear called maur and my yellow robe with the added sashes and cummerbund made me look like a real ruler and king of Sabeto ready to travel to Nabua in Samabula to wed the queen of my heart. I remember watching everything around me with eagerness through the tinsel strings that dangled from the light yellow turban.

              

After completing all the weeklong ceremonies, the procession of some fifty family members and friends left Sabeto for Samabula. We began our journey in the morning of Saturday the 18^th of January 1964 my 24^th birthday. After a cut lunch at the foothill of Galoa Range along the cool riverside midway on the dusty Queens’ Road, we reached our destination by five in the afternoon. When the busload of people and the music cab that had carried us arrived at 6 Nabua Road the Sharma family and their representatives very warmly welcomed us.

Before sitting on the holy seat of the special mandap, I learnt many good things about my wife Saroj. A divine thought that has never escaped my mind is that she became the special person who was going to be an inseparable part of my life. She was the one whom you give any oyster and she could give you the best quality pearl from it.

This is how she was able to enrich the whole life and living styles of the Prasad Family. So I was blessed with a pretty swan that turned to be the bright light of my life and the lotus of my lovely pond.

After the wedding ceremonies were conducted and concluded we rested for the night and left Sabeto the next morning of Sunday the 19^th January with the greatest treasure of my life. Saroj had to be uprooted from her family so the departure was naturally very painful for everyone. She cried with the family and I felt her sadness but our happiness was awaiting for us elsewhere.

The journey back to Sabeto from Nabua took us to a family life that was new and exciting for both of us. We were determined to embark on this adventure with all sincerity and devotion. Many personal adjustments were needed and we were proud to accept those for over a year. That night Saroj and I prayed to the Almighty God to give us the strength to conduct our family life with dignity. The next day was Monday 20^th January and as the custom demanded, Saroj was taken back to her parents’ home by her brother Vinod in a taxi.

This break gave me an opportunity to make some serious infrastructure changes to our home, bathroom, toilets and water supply but I could not make it anywhere even nearer an urban living. After these temporary adjustments were completed, I travelled to Suva to bring my Saroj from her family. She arrived in our Botini Home on January 29^th 1964. We began living as wife and husband in our home at the farm.

My wife Saroj went through many stresses and strains while she was living with my extended family in Sabeto. Now when we look back to those days, we have some very fond memories that have definitely enriched our life.  We had many difficulties but there were more ups than downs. Saroj was one of the greatest positive thinkers and survived the ordeals of rural living and limitations by accepting the challenges happily and with dignity.

We managed to live in a rural setup with various limitations such as poor water supply, lack of electricity and no toilet facilities. Our kitchen was a makeshift shed with stone stoves that later changed into a primus and gas burner. We walked a long distance to report to work but we felt a deep sense of duty and responsibility to keep moving to serve the community and our extended family.

Our teaching assignment was at Sabeto Muslim School. Every day we walked to and from home along the dusty gravel road for five miles for good first half of that year.

My grandfather could not bear the suffering of his grand-daughter in law and paid the initial deposit of 250 pounds for our first new car, Dutsun Bluebird that cost us 750 pounds. Our travelling and life became a lot easier and smoother after we had the luxury of our new car           

            

My father was supportive of our rural living but my mother was a bit indifferent towards my wife. Maybe because of her own earlier background and upbringing. Whatever it was, we managed our early family life well for a year, which included our honeymoon to Levuka in the first term school holidays. Our stay at the Royal Hotel was very interesting and the boat trip from mainland to the old capital city of Fiji, Levuka was exciting and eventful.

Saroj still had to draw water from the deep well, wash clothes on the stone, have cold shower, cook in the makeshift kitchen, make do with the limited toilet facilities and look after the interests of her nagging mother in law and demanding sisters in law. She continued to do the schoolwork and care for my needs as well. To make matters worse she began suffering from her morning sickness after conceiving our first child.

However, her good personality and calm and collected attitude as well as her family upbringing made her bear all these silently with pleasure and tolerate all the difficulties, hardships and odd behaviour of some of the extended family members. In the process, we did learn and experience the truth of the olden Indian belief of the difficult and unforgiving mother in law.