REFLECTIONS : SWEET AND SOUR MEMORIES OF THE PRASAD FAMILY OF BELLBOWRIE.

REFLECTIONS : SWEET AND SOUR MEMORIES OF THE PRASAD FAMILY OF BELLBOWRIE.

(Part Three)

A year passed reasonably happily in Sabeto making us experience various aspects of difficult rural living. We managed to get a transfer to Nakaulevu Primary School in Navua in 1965 and started teaching there by occupying a public quarter (house). Our family life changed a lot for the better and our first child Praanesh was born on 6^th March 1965 at CWMH Anderson Maternity Unit under the care of Dr DJ Lancaster.

This was the most wonderful moment of our life. We had become parents to a very beautiful and healthy baby boy and we started looking after him with all our love, care and interest. We decided that all our children would have an eight-letter first name because the figure 8 was good sign for us and gave us eight most needed attributes of humanity that our children had to master. These included: academic, brilliant, courteous, dexterous, effective, faithful, graceful and honest.

Praanesh for us really meant our life and soul.  He was all we had until 30^th June 1967 when our life was filled with our first daughter Praneeta. She was as pretty as her name and as precious as the most expensive diamond in the world for us. Her arrival made us richer and gave great solace, satisfaction and sense of fulfilment to us. We were blessed with a son and a daughter to make us a complete family but we had wish for more.

In those two fruitful years of our early-married life, we made a lot of progress and enjoyed our service to the people. We managed to buy a freehold land at Lami near Suva from one of our friends, Mahesh Prasad of Nakaulevu.

He immediately transferred the land in our name by allowing us to meet regular payments for the next two and half years to enable us to obtain housing loan to build our first home on our land.

This kind gesture made us borrow two thousand pounds from the Home Finance Company of Fiji and start building our own first home. Saroj’s Dada Durga Prasad made the plan for the house and it took almost six months to build.

We hired a carpenter by the name of Suruj Bali and helped him erect the house slowly. After our hard day of schoolwork, Saroj and I worked with the labourers every afternoon and the weekends.

We were transferred to Suva’s Nehru Memorial School in 1967 after my retraining at the University of the South Pacific as an English Specialist Teacher. While our house was being built, we rented the Sharma House at 6 Nabua Road. To supplement our income we had to do extra tutorial and other work.

Saroj and I taught children after school and I worked as a bookkeeper for a few Suva business people. I worked as an insurance agent for Life Insurance Corporation of India. The income from these additional sources gave us enough funds to keep building our first home.

Some envious people who reported our supplementary work activities to the Education Officials could not tolerate our progress and hard work. We were given a punitive transfer to Taveuni but we objected, appealed, and got that move changed to Nakaikongo in Nausori. My fight with the corrupt officials of the Education Department began that year and I turned to become a very active member of the Fiji Teachers’ Union.

By this time, our home was ready and we had moved in but travelled daily to and from Nakaikongo. The school was across the Rewa River and we had to cross the river on a hanging bridge by walking the muddy path for a kilometre to reach the school but we managed and survived the ordeals. We had to wear gumboots to make this daily trip safely.

Because of our good work in 1968, I was appointed as Head Teacher of Rishikul Primary School and then within a year because of our financial difficulties I asked for a transfer back to Nakaulevu so that we could rent our house and release the pressure of meeting various outstanding payments. On 29^th September 1968, we were blessed with our second daughter whose birth gave us a lot of hope, happiness and faith, hence the name, Harshita. She came as the Goddess Luxmi amidst us and solved many of our financial difficulties.

We began enjoying our public service at Nakaulevu and on various occasions, my grandfather (Aja) and Saroj’s grandmother (Iba Nani) used to come and live with us to help us look after our children. Our house cleaner and maid Daya was a great help to us as well.

Accidents do happen, when one day while playing with a few coins at home Harshita, at the age of 18 months, put a shilling coin in her mouth, and it slipped down her throat. When we rushed her to CWM Hospital Dr Shiu Ramrakha, the surgeon tried to pull it out but when that was not possible he pushed it further down into her stomach so that it could come out the other end later. It did after a day and we were relieved. We kept this coin as a souvenir until the floods of 1972 swept it away to the Pacific Ocean.

As Head Teacher of this school, I helped the village in many of their reforms and organised a variety of programmes to enrich the school generally. The country became independent on 10^th October 1970 and I actively participated in the politics of the nation as well as the Union, thus gaining a lot of respect and honour from the community we were serving.

As if our family life was not yet complete, so we decided to have another child and consequently Saroj gave birth to another son on 29^th September 1971 and we called him Rohitesh. He was our last born and very delicately handled at all times. As per our wedding pledge, we began the process of raising our four children with great care and responsibility. We decided that we would do everything in our power and means to ensure their best growth and development.

Life progressed very well for us and in May of 1972, I went to Russia (USSR) as a guest of the Federation of Labour for five weeks and thoroughly toured Moscow, Leningrad, Kiev and Orissa. This trip was very educational for me because I gained a lot of experience and knowledge about political parties and unionism. On my return journey, I visited the unions and political parties in India and Singapore.

While I was away, Saroj managed the family and the schoolwork with great skills and responsibility. We were fortunate to get her grandmother who kept her company during this difficult time. Other family members also came to her help.

In October 1972, Navua faced its biggest natural disaster when hurricane Bebe brought flood to the area. Our house went under water and we suffered a lot of loss to our properties. Our car was swept away and we took refuge in the school building with our four children and other village people. I had to go out in small boats to rescue stranded people whose homes were uninundated.

Navua bridge was destroyed and all transportation to and from Suva stopped but after the floods receded Saroj’s parents managed to travel to us and brought the needed food and water for us and helped us clean the house. They took our children away with them and looked after them for a week.

Later that year I was selected to represent the Fiji Teachers’ Union to conduct a job evaluation exercise for the teachers of Fiji to improve their terms and conditions of service and salaries. The team spent three months doing this project and came up with an historical report that gave the teachers of Fiji greater respect and place in the community and improved their salaries as well as the terms and conditions considerably.

I continued with my interest to improve my qualifications and by this time, I had completed a few requirements from Massey University as well as from the University of the South Pacific (USP) towards my Bachelor’s degree. Then the Fiji government recognizing this effort, awarded me an in-service scholarship in 1973 to complete my studies at the university. The scholarship was for four years but I completed my Bachelor of Arts degree with a Graduate Certificate in Education in three years and was posted as Head of Department Languages to Gospel High School in Suva.

                   

We moved into our own house in Lami and Saroj while teaching at Suva Grammar School was also awarded the same scholarship by the government in 1976 to complete her studies. She completed her Bachelor of Education and was appointed Senior Lecturer in English at Nasinu Teachers’ College in 1978.

I was promoted as Senior Education Officer to work at the English Department of the Curriculum Development Unit of Education Department. Everything began to move very well for us professionally and financially.

Our four children were attending Suva Grammar School by now and we had sorted and eased many of our financial problems. However, to get into better financial position we reorganised our life a little. All our children were doing well and we had reached prestigious positions in our work situation.

  

Therefore, we decided to sell our Lami home in 1979. We made good profit out of this deal and moved to our new home in Laucala Beach Estate.

This was a very large and prestigious home located in a very elite suburb of Nasinu. We enjoyed living happily in it for five good years. By now, we had a new car AQ361, a Toyota Cressida and kept two pet dogs called Lucy and Rodger, German Shepherds. Unfortunately, they were poisoned by some people and had to be cremated in the property.

While living there I formed an association of residents to look after the interest of the area and help beautify the place. Dr Timoci Bavandra was the President and I was chosen the first secretary of the Laucala Beach Estate Residents’ Association. We planted many trees along the road side to beautify the estate and enable walking people to get some shade.

I was elected to the Executive Council of the Fiji Teachers’ Union as their International Relations Officer and from 1979 to 1984 went on various overseas assignments to USA, Canada, South America, Japan, Hongkong, Singapore and New Zealand. These trips, though they were educational and beneficial for me, became very taxing for Saroj and my family because I could not give them enough attention as a husband and as a father.

While working as a Senior Lecturer Saroj did a wonderful work in keeping the children at school and looking after their interests at home. I have never felt more indebted to her in my entire life for sharing this great family and personal responsibility.

As a compensatory gift, I took her on a world tour in 1983 December school holidays just before we moved to Ba. We went through America, moved to Canada, then to UK. We returned to Fiji through Dubai, India, Singapore and Australia.

However, some form of madness had entered into my mind temporarily and I began to act indifferently towards my family for a while. During these spurts of lunacy I even began to act violently towards my wife and children.             

Saroj felt the need to reinstate my original conduct and asked and assisted me to learn to control my deteriorating temper. Consequently, after some therapy I gained my previously ingrained loving behaviour and kinder disposition to the advantage and benefit of my family but it had tarnished my relationship somewhat and took long to re-establish. We managed to overcome the setback gradually.

Things kept moving well from my rejuvenated self and as time passed and situations improved, I was very well established at Laucala Beach Estate. We regained our bond of love and passion and started living a family life that excelled every aspect of our living. We have never looked back to those few darker days of our life but it did leave a bitter taste in our relationship.

No amount of apology and feelings of sadness and sorrow would make me completely get over it. It is even harder for the other members of my family, especially Saroj, to forget those temporary but treacherous episodes but I know that she, being a person of great wisdom and compassion, has forgotten those events but I rightly think that she would not be able to completely forgive me for my trespasses. Life went on and we made our needed amends for the better living.

My parents who were living happily in our Sabeto home had earlier decided to sell their property because their native lease was going to expire soon. They moved to Suva and after living with us for a while in Nakaulevu. We helped them relocate in Nadera.

I helped my parents buy a Crown Land in Nasinu from Housing Authority and they moved there to build their own house. My parents were no longer the hard working, carefree and independent farmers. They had to adjust to a new type of urban living because Nasinu at that time was fast developing into a busy satellite town.

My parents had difficulty adjusting to this new environment and unusual situation in Nasinu because they no longer had the luxury of a regular income and they had to look after the increasing needs and demands of their five grown up daughters. They had to make new friends; found it hard to get around because the type of transportation had changed; various types of noise were bothering them; they were getting frustrated with life generally and above all the cost of living was a lot higher because self sufficiency of the farm was gone.

However, we had to find some means of earning for them and guided them.  Therefore, my father began to act as an intermediary or a middleman at the Suva Market and then he started lending money to needy people who he could trust. Thus, the difficulty of irregular income was somewhat resolved. The increasing educational, social, cultural and travelling demands from the five daughters had to be met adequately.

Gradually my father was able to find good husbands for four of his daughters and was happy to marry them into good homes. We were happy to see that the burden of looking after the family had eased and my parents began to relax.

Time moved on and because we were thinking of migrating to Australia eventually, we decided to sell our Laucala Beach property as well. We managed to find a good buyer in 1983 and made reasonable profit on the sale of our home. Around this time, Praanesh was sent to Brisbane to complete his High School studies at Indooroopilly State High School. He lived at 19 Warren Street with Saroj’s parents but later moved to a rented accommodation when he was at Queensland University of Technology doing his mechanical engineering degree..

My transfer as Head of Western Division Advisory Unit of Secondary Schools happened in June 1984 and I had to stay in a government allocated house in Ba. This happened while my family had to stay in Suva because my children could not be disturbed from their school and my wife could not get a transfer. I commuted to Ba every Monday mornings and returned to Suva on Fridays. This continued until the end of the year when our children finished their studies in Suva.

Saroj was transferred to Ba as Head of Department Languages, Praneeta and Harshita were sent to Brisbane Girls’ Grammar School but Rohitesh began attending Xavier College in Ba. Harshita could not settle comfortably into the boarding life in Brisbane and had to return to join Rohitesh at Xavier College.  I continued doing my work as Divisional Education Officer Secondary Schools in the Westerm Division looking after all the secondary schools from Sigatoka to Raki Raki.

I was invited to join the Rotary Club of Ba in 1985 by one of Saroj’s uncles Dhijendra Singh and eventually became the President of that successful Club in 1986. This turned out to be the door to my retirement and change of work because I was offered a lucrative position of Director Human Resources with the Motibhai Group of Companies in Nadi. I took an early retirement from the Government of Fiji and joined this Group of Companies in 1987.

We had to move to Nadi into our new company residence and were allocated a new 929 Mazda company car. Saroj was transferred as Head of English Department in Nadi. Harshita and Rohitesh went to Natabua High School to complete their respective forms five and six education.

We experienced the brunt of Fiji’s first coup-de- tat in May 1987 but felt no disadvantage at all. Life continued as usual for us until we were ready to send our remaining children overseas. In 1988, Rohitesh went to Brisbane Boys’ Grammar School and Harshita was sent to Victoria University in Wellington New Zealand to continue her tertiary study.

By this time, Praanesh was attending Queensland University of Technology as an engineering student and Praneeta was a first year science student at the University of Queensland. All our children were reaping the benefit of Saroj’s responsible motherhood and excellent child rearing.

After completing his studies, Praanesh got married to Ranitta, daughter of our College mate Regina Prasad. This was our first big function and we tried to do our best despite the death of Saroj’s father a few weeks before the wedding. Both Anand and Regina, our daughter in law’s parents were very supportive.

Time kept moving and we were able to conduct successful marriages for our daughters Praneeta and Harshita. Their weddings took place in Brisbane and we travelled from Fiji to perform the important duties. We were very pleased with the ceremonies and the contributions of the respective families in making the events turn out well. Harshita travelled from Wellington with Naresh Patel and his family to get married.

Saroj too was promoted to her former position of Senior Lecturer English at the Lautoka Teachers’ College. She had to buy a car to travel the distance from our Mountain View Home to her work place every day and visit schools to inspect the work of her students. After our Cressida was sold after ten years at the same price that we bought it off as new from Automotive Supplies, her white Toyota Corolla BU152 began giving her the same service.

In the meantime, I decided to continue my studies as well and finished up with my double degrees of M.B.A. and D.B.A. majoring in Human Resource Management from California in 1991. We made serious efforts to reapply to migrate to Australia when Praanesh was married and with Ranitta they acted as our sponsors.

We went through many hassles to get through this application because the Australian Authorities in Canberra declared us obese and over weight. Because of this declaration and the strictness of their representative doctor Shamma Raj, we had to go through a rigorous weight loss programme to arrange a loss of over 20kg each. We learnt at that time that other applicants who were more obese than we were, managed to get past this hurdles because they had different doctor to provide them the certificate of health and fitness. I managed to do so but Saroj had to be helped with a strong logical and medical plea from her private doctor Rodney Gerona of Sigatoka.

Finally, we were given all clear to migrate to Australia in 1994 so I gave my intentions to resign from my work and moved to Natabua where Saroj was allocated a government quarters (residence). I still worked with the Company until I helped them find a replacement for me. On 31^st January 1995, we flew to Brisbane to settle down as permanent residents.

We faced many problems initially but as soon as our home was completed at 95 Church Road in Bellbowrie, we began to feel relieved. All our children were well settled in their respective families except Rohitesh who was still with us. He was a great help to us until we found work for ourselves. Saroj began teaching at Leichart and I became a senior lecturer at the Brisbane Education and Training Centre, a reformatory for students needing rehabilitation.

We began enjoying our new life in Brisbane because of our determination to move ahead with vigour and control.

Saroj completed her Bachelor of Teaching (EC) from QUT, I did a few management, and computer courses at the training centre of the Australian Institute of Management where I was admitted as Fellow.(AIMF)  Consequently, we were able to secure good jobs for us. Saroj started working as a Group Leader at Graceville and I continued working with Education Queensland.

Then in 1996 came the big day for Rohitesh who got married to Tania and they moved to live in Sydney. At last, we felt very happy indeed that we were able to complete our parental responsibility with ease and were able to settle all our children in their respective family life. Wherever they were, they kept a very careful care of us and we enjoyed their love and attention very much.

Life in Brisbane kept moving well and we enjoyed our new style of living. Although we had our own worries, we were able to overcome these with careful and strategic planning. We sold our first home in 1999 and with the profit we bought our Bushlark Court home. This move eased a lot of financial pressure from our life.

My work situation became well established. I was confirmed in my appointment and was enjoying good income to support the family so Saroj could take a retirement. She needed to rest after so many years of hard work and dedicated family work. From 2000 she became my fulltime carer and an excellent domestic engineer for the Prasad Family of Bellbowrie.

We decided to reorganise our finances again and sold our Bushlark Court property. With the saving, we bought a piece of land at 76 Ghost Gum Street and built an affordable retirement home there in September 2001. This home turned out to be an ideal one for us because it was out of flood zone and was a lowset home to relax in old age.

We had achieved all our aims and were ready to retire so I took my long service leave in December 2005 and retired with lump sum superannuation to pay off the mortgage that we had on our house.

However, Naresh and Harshita met that wish of ours thus leaving our superannuation fund intact to use during our retirement. They paid our mortgage of almost $90K.

Praneeta and Shalendra decided to get married in 2008 in Brisbane and they settled with their children in Moggill. They are a great source of inspiration and assistance to us because they live only two blocks away from us. We are always looking forward to their company with pleasure.

We have been enjoying the income from our pensions from the Australian and Fijian Governments and living a happy life visiting places and people. Our children are our greatest support; they are our valuable assets and we are loved, cared and looked after in all our needs by all of them. This is heavenly pleasure on this earth for us. We thank our children for their support.

Our joy and satisfaction comes from the unconditional love that our eight grand children shower on us and the kindness that our children bestow on us at all times. Nothing gives us more pleasure than to witness that they all are happy, fruitful, and well settled and flourishing in their own homes and living a life that they rightfully deserve. Our daily prayers include our hope and wish for their continued prosperity and welfare.

We now do not worry too much about the past events because God Almighty has given us all we asked for and we are fully content with everything we have. Our retirement is peaceful, enjoyable and harmonious. We wake up every morning, relax and say a few quiet prayers for the continued peace, prosperity and progress of the Prasad Family. Life is moving on smoothly.

Our day finishes with a game or two of scrabble in the harmony of the melodious tunes from various albums of ghazals, bhajans, kirtans and old songs. Listening to various kinds of music has made our life very meaningful so we keep listening and enjoying. 

This is heaven on this earth for us. We wish for no more pleasures in our life. We have had it all and the only thing left is to thank everyone for making our life so pleasant and worthy. This we keep doing everyday in our prayers.

I am a proud product of a variety of education, economic, social and political institutions and have been in constant interaction with multiple intelligentsia but my greatest knowledge and all relevant information came from my family members. Whatever I gained in knowledge and skills from them could not have been delivered from any other source.

My wife, Saroj has been my most effective and real mentor. My four children, Praanesh, Praneeta, Harshita and Rohitesh, have given me ideas in abundance, practical hints and useful tools of living. I have learnt many skills of applied economics, investment techniques, frugality and excellent family relationship ideas from my daughter in law Ranitta and my two sons in law Naresh and Shalendra have enriched my total personality, my ability to tolerate things and my response to modern living.

My intelligent response to the future, my vivid realization to deal with the current circumstances and my enhanced feelings of love and affection have all delivered to me by the healthy and meaningful interactions with my eight grand children- Jaya, Meera, Hamish, Jayden, Anjali, Sonali, Elliott and Charlotte. My life would not have been complete without their enthusiastic contribution and participation.

They deserve my hearty appreciation in my total enrichment. We could not wish for any more joy than this. They are all very resourceful and intelligent to keep us enthusiastically interested in their welfare at all times.

                       

       oOo

We love all our children and grand children so much but are unable to adequately and truly express our internal feelings simply because our vocabulary is limited, our writing style is basic and our feelings are never ending.

This presentation is definitely not complete because there are many links to add and many gaps to fill. These could be done by my respective family members as the time and occasion permit them to do so.

I have done my share to give the reality a beginning but the real pleasure would reign when our children and grandchildren prosper to multiply their respective talents, contributions, participation and prosperity to surpass my very humble living, simple successes and probable prestige.

I would be gone but I know that despite some of my sour displays, I would not be forgotten for my personal duties and contributions in making this family worthy of its name. Although I will not be there to witness all the intriguing future developments, my soul will feel the joy of progress of all our people. I will rest in peace to witness all the enhancements of the Prasad Family.

I am confident that each and every member of this family would contribute to make this a flourishing enterprise and create their own respective financial, social and cultural niche in the community. My each day is a miracle that intoxicates me to want more but I have learnt to be contented.  I greet each morning like a new pleasure, new discovery and new chapter of my remaining life. Come what may, I am ready and prepared for it.

We, Saroj and I, after a lot of trials and tribulations, have at last learnt to mind our own business, rest in peace but give our richest blessings to everyone in the family to keep moving ahead with added vigor.

On my own part, I sometime find it very difficult to reconcile some of the real sour events of my life. When I am alone I shed a few tears to wash my sins but I know fully well that they are hurting and making me suffer a lot internally. I do get some consolation and contentment from the belief that our entire life itself is full of various kinds of sufferings, difficulties and problems. We must learn to find our own solutions and overcome all our worries, sorrows and sadness.

I fully understand the thoughts of many people reading this that I resemble that legendary Tom Cat that turned vegetarian after eating so many rats and mice and went to pray at the temple to ask for mercy. I feel that the proverb Nabbe chuha khaye ke billar bhai bhaktin fits my predicaments well but what more can I do? I am only human and to err is human and forgive divine.

If I am given another life I wish to correct some of my sour points to relive a sweeter and more meaningful life. Although each of my days turns out to be a miracle that intoxicates me, I want to experience more so that I can greet every morning like a new pleasure.

I want a rebirth, a resurrection, an extra ordinary sensation so that I can live another life that is a lot more different from the one I already had. Even though I had full contentment, I want to do more, appreciate more and contribute more. There should be no brooding over any unpleasantness. Life without any qualms and without compromises is possible. Is it possible? I will tell you when I return. I will make it a possibility.

I would like to outline three of my last wishes that need to be told so that my family members do the right things after I am no more.

Firstly, I do not own many properties and as such everything that I associated with during my life time and are left behind, they all jointly belong to my family members. Each one is free to take whatever they want and whenever they want.

Secondly, I am a human being and I cried when I was born because I did not know what lay ahead for me. In fact what lay ahead of me has been outlined in the previous pages. Death for me is not to be mourned because it is a rejoicing episode of life that ends all our worries, calamities, difficulties and sufferings. Therefore, it is fitting that upon my death there is no mourning and that I should not be accorded any unnecessary religious customary and traditional rights.

At my funeral a few presentations of truthful words from my children for the people who gather at the Centenary Memorial Gardens and then my last right will be the incineration of my body. Just play or recite the Gayatri mantra one hundred and eight times. The incineration of my body should be the final right for me. That is why it is called Antim Sanskaar. The final Ceremony.

There should be no customary and traditional ceremonies for me after I am gone. Just celebrate the truth, goodness and beauty of my living. This is the procedure that I would appreciate but if anyone of my children feels that I need more traditional and customary departure then they are free to do so.

Thirdly, I only wish that I am forgiven for all my trespasses, sins, errors and sourness that I inadvertently may have caused to my loved ones during my entire life.  I seek the understanding of everyone for my good, bad and ugly deeds, words and thoughts. Lets us all see what tomorrow brings for us. Rejoice my sweetness and forget my sourness.

The Gayatri mantra that I intend to be recited at my departure is:

AUM BHOOR BHUWAH SWAHA,
TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM
BHARGO DEVASAYA DHEEMAHI
DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODAYAT.

We wish to finish this section of our presentation with our universal prayer.

Oh God! Thou art the Giver of Life, 
Remover of pain and sorrow, 
The Bestower of happiness, 
Oh! The Creator of the Universe,
May we receive thy supreme  sin-destroying light,
May Thou guide our intellect in the right direction.